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  • Do you feel you must “walk on eggshells” to avoid upsetting your partner?
  • Does your partner put you down, call you names, or threaten you?
  • Does your partner continually criticize what you wear, what you say, how you act, and how you look?
  • Does your partner humiliate or make fun of you in public places and social situations?
  • Has your partner threatened to hurt you or the children if you leave?
  • Does your partner force you to have sex whether you want to or not?
  • Have you been repeatedly accused of flirting or having sex with others?
  • Does your partner restrict you from getting a job or going to school?
  • Do you ever explain away bruises, cuts, or other injuries as results of how “clumsy” you are?
  • Do you feel nervous or afraid for your safety when your partner becomes angry?
  • Are you afraid to disagree with your partner?
  • Are you frightened by your partner’s violence towards other people or animals?
  • Has your partner intentionally damaged your possessions?
  • Has your partner cut you off from family and friends or isolated you?
  • Are you afraid that if you left you would be attacked, harassed, or followed?
  • Does your partner make all the decisions or control the money?
  • Has your partner pushed, slapped, kicked, choked, restrained, or hurt you?
  • Are you afraid of your partner?

Deciding Whether to Stay or Leave

Only you can decide whether it would be best for you to stay or leave your domestic violence situation. We encourage you to consider your safety first and foremost when choosing whether to remain in your home or seek shelter elsewhere. Although you can’t control your partner’s violence, you do have a choice about planning for safety. You can decide for yourself if and when you will tell others that you have been abused or that you are still at risk. Friends, family, and co-workers can help

protect you if they know what is happening and what they can do to help.

If you decide to leave your situation, you will want to take certain items with you. Remember, your safety is top priority. If you need to leave without these items in order to be safe, do so. Some people give an extra copy of papers and an extra set of clothing to a friend just in case they have to leave quickly.

Please, download our Safety Planning Guide

Our Safety Planning Guide Can Help you Decide:

How to Stay Safe While Living with an Abusive Partner

What Documents to Collect Before You Leave

Safety When Preparing to Leave

​Computer Use and Safety


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